Are You Stepping Out In Faith?

"Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus." - Matthew 14: 25-29 NIV

For those of you who have been close to me, read any of my blogs within the last year or read/watched any of my Instagram stories, you probably know a little bit of what my life looks like right now or at the very least, suspected something. You know that I live by myself with my two dogs and I'm fighting on my knees every day for my husband, myself, and our marriage.

I've freely opened myself up to others and have been very honest when asked but I've also learned when to back off which was when God showed me how being too open at the wrong time, can have major consequences. And since I've been so open with others, it's also opened me up to a lot of criticism... As I'm writing this, I have a smirk of disbelief and annoyance on my face as I reflect back. The fact, that so many people have told me or illuded to the fact that what I'm doing is crazy, is the very reason I wrote this blog.

Here are the facts: Yes, I am fighting for my marriage (and will continue to do so unless God says to stop). Yes, we are separated. Yes, we are on very good terms and care for each other deeply. But here's what I also know: My God is a big God and He can literally do anything. Even allow people to walk on water.

Let me guess, now you also think I'm crazy? That's okay! Judge away.

"What is counted as crazy in one season, will be counted as faith in another." - Pastor Michael Todd

Thank you P. Michael Todd! When I first heard him say this, my immediate thought was "YES! Exactly!" I know what I'm doing is not the way of the world. I dare to say, it's not even the way within the walls of the church (even though the bible does instruct it). I also know that me being a woman fighting for my man is not the typical cutesy, love story you see on Disney but hey, this is my story. And let's be real, Disney isn't real life.

Here is what the world wants me to do (and is what I often hear):

-"Leave girl, you deserve better."

-"Ugh! If my husband ever did _____, I'd leave!"

-"How long are you going to wait?"

-"I don't think he ever loved you."

-"He clearly doesn't love you, why are you wasting your time?"

-"Is it really worth saving?"

-"You're better than me. I could never do that."

-"I'm all for having faith but don't be naive."

Here's what I SHOULD be hearing (and sometimes blessed to hear).

-"Keep praying girl! God is faithful"

-"This isn't about flesh and blood, keep praying for your husband and yourself."

-"You are so strong. I'm so proud of you." (My best friend/my mother in law both tell me this ALL OF THE TIME).

-"God will do a miracle!"

-"I'll be praying and believing with you."

-" How can I be praying for you, for him?"

-"I've heard of many couples reconciling." < (because it happens all of the time)

-"Be obedient to whatever God is telling you."

-"Remember your vows."

-"He's worth the fight.

-"I know it's hard but you've got this."

Do you see the difference? People (even Christians) speak way more disbelief and negativity and have very little faith. Can I be even more blunt? Mostly everything I hear is completely UNBIBLICAL. Where is the faith? Where is the sanctity of "for better, for worse", "til death do we part", or vows in general? Where is evidence that you who sing all those songs every Sunday, you who tell people to "believe in Jesus and His power", where is your actual faith? Thankfully, their beliefs don't rest on God restoring my marriage, otherwise, you're right, I should just give up now. But He doesn't (phew!). It's interesting to me when Christians pick and choose what their faith touches and what it doesn't. But that is a WHOLE other topic. My point is this, I know what I'm doing looks crazy and I don't care.

Okay, let's go back to Matthew 14 (go back to the top if you need to re-read it). I don't know about you, but have you ever thought about the perspective of those who stayed on the boat? I never did. We always talk about Peter and his faith/doubt, we never really touch on those who stayed in the boat. When I came across this scripture recently, here's what I noticed (paraphrased with personal perspective):

There were several Christ-followers on a boat and they all freaked out thinking they saw a ghost. I'm assuming they kind of recognized the "ghost" and Peter spoke up and said "Lord, is that you? If it's you, tell me to come."

PAUSE

Peter had so much faith in Jesus that he literally was asking him, "okay so if it's you, tell me to come and I know that if it's REALLY you, you'll have me walk on water." Now, I don't know if Peter saw Him walk on water before so he already knew Jesus could do that or if he just knew Jesus was just so powerful as the Son of God that He could do anything and that was the first idea in his head? Who knows. But all I can take from this is Peter had crazy faith in Jesus before he even stepped off the boat.

RESUME

Jesus then tells Peter "come" and Peter started walking on the water while keeping his eyes on Jesus. Can you imagine the disciples standing there in fear or hiding behind each other all while watching Peter begin to put his first foot out on the water and them be like "Has this dude lost his freaking mind?" "Look at him! (mockingly) He's going to sink!" "I mean I believe in Jesus and all but bruh, don't be naive!"

Like Peter, I know people are watching me take major risks. They watch me provide for myself, work 60, sometimes 70 hours a week, take on more than I had before, not date other men or sleep with men to "fulfill my needs", all while still living my life, chasing my dreams, getting physically healthy, learning about myself as a 30-something-year-old woman in Christ, and literally, fighting on my knees every day for the man I vowed my life to.

What if I'm not the crazy one, what if the bystanders are? Could it be that the others missed out on a life-changing opportunity because they chose fear over believing God? Could it be that maybe you are missing out on the "more God has for you" because it feels better (and easier) to live like the world than to live according to the bible?

Trust me, you don't think that I could go out right now and find the next guy to get married to (especially since all I hear is "someone else deserves you" whatever that means)? I've already had men ask me out but I continue to say no. Are they cute? YES! But I will never settle for McDonald's hamburgers when God has already given me my Omaha Steaks Steak, my filet-mignon. He might still be cooking, but he is the treasure God gave me. I'm not going to allow the world to convince me to throw away my diamond (even if he's being refined by fire) so I can settle for stones or CZs (Cubic Zirconia).

Plus, I meant those vows. I meant "for better, for worse". "For worse" does not mean "until I don't feel like it". "For worse" means no matter how hard this gets, even if you want out, even if you need space, even if you need time to heal and grow, I am ALWAYS here. Marriage is not easy. It really is a "ride together, die together" situation. It tests your loyalty. When you become ONE, their junk becomes your junk and your junk becomes their junk. While yes, we all fall short of the glory of God, if God says "STAY", you better not miss out on what He has for you because something else seems easier. Don't throw away a treasure for a "what if". Don't miss out because other people think you're crazy for fighting for your marriage, or moving to that state or country, or going to school, or adopting while single, or taking that job, or to start that business, or marrying that person of a different race. The ONLY requirement is DO WHAT GOD IS TELLING YOU! He will say "This is the way, walk in it". People laughed at Noah but who was laughing after the flood?

Now if you know the rest of the story with Peter, you know that Peter began to sink because he started to doubt. He looked away from Jesus and saw the waves from the storm. He doubted even after he was already walking on water. Just because we have faith doesn't mean we, ourselves, won't have moments of doubt. It doesn't mean we won't have to ask God again and again to reassure us. Your jaw would drop if I told you how many times I've asked God to show me AGAIN that I'm doing the right thing. But most of the time that is due to the fact that I allow people's "advice" or mockery to get into my heart and/or I'm not spending daily time with God. Nine times of out ten, God always reassures me. There have been those couple of times when He's been silent but for the most part, He always says "this is the way."

I don't know if right now in your life, you are a Peter or one of the disciples on the boat watching, either way, I leave you with this: If God tells you to take a step, I beg of you to keep your eyes on Him. Even with the storm still raging, and no matter what other people say or do to you, take that step and don't ever look at anyone but Jesus. Then and only then, will you be able to experience the real power of your Heavenly Father and a truly fulfilling life.

PRAYER:

Lord, First of all, thank you so much for giving us role models like Peter that we can look up to no matter what year or time period we are in. I know that you have called us all to be like Peter in this instance when he stepped out in faith. That when you tell us to take a step into the impossible that we are obedient to Your word. If you ask us to come, I pray that we would come. If you ask us to be still, I pray we would be still. If you ask us to not be afraid, I pray you would give us peace that transcends all understanding.

For the person reading this, I'm sure there is a place in their heart that you have been telling them to "come" and maybe they haven't because they are doubting that it was You, maybe it's fear, or something else, no matter what it is I pray that right now, in the name of Jesus, they would get the courage to take the first step. I pray their eyes would only be on You. They would not fear of what others may say, have said, or are saying. I pray they would read your word and spend daily time with you, talking with you so that they never get distracted by the naysayers or the surging storms. Today, I pray You would begin to take their faith to a whole new level and they would be a loving, peaceful light in this dark, unbelieving world.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Want to chat about how I can help you grow in this area? Contact me!

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