Just Hold On...

Everyone tells me that I've got this. That I'm strong enough to handle the season I'm in and honestly I don't doubt that I am. Imagine though that you've spent your life in the forest but now you are forced to live in the ocean. Yeah, you can swim and you know you will adapt to the waves but that doesn't mean you won't still desire the trees. That's home. Maybe I don't belong in the forest anymore but I am still so convinced that is where I belong.

Being in a new place can show you a lot. Maybe that's why God moves us. I was watching a rollie pollie the other day (silly I know) while I was in the bathroom at work. I thought to myself, "I should pick him up and put him outside." I bent down to pick him up so I could take him outside but instead he tried to run. Then, when I caught up to him, he hid in a ball. For some reason, I had this thought... "This rollie pollie doesn't know that where he is right now doesn't serve him. So when I try to remove him from a place that will eventually kill him because there is no food or water, he runs, he hides. What he doesn't know is that if he just trusted me to let me take him outside and place him in the grass, everything he was searching for inside, he would find where I placed him. He would be happier."

Like the Rollie, where I landed was down the path towards "death". So God had to remove things from my life, whether temporarily or permanently, because they would not serve me but end up leading me down to the road of destruction. I truly believe that is also one of the reasons I was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know all the ways God will use this season in my life but I do know for right now, it was meant to turn my face back to Him. I was headed down a bad path and at the time, I didn't even realize it.

Are you in a place in life right now where you are struggling? Maybe it's your job, your children, your business, your marriage, etc. Or is it multifaceted? Does it seem like everything around you is crumbling? If so, just be still, relax, and allow God to walk you through the journey. My prayer to God lately has been "Lord, while I want a quick fix, great things are not fixed quickly. Instead, I pray that you give me the strength to walk through the fire". It's hard as hell... literally. It hurts, it burns, and there are days I can barely hold it together. Then, there are days I'm killing it at this thing called life and ultimately, I don't want to miss out on what God has for me. I want to be great. I want to be the person I've always dreamt of being, so for now, I am just trying to trust God to guide my every step.

Okay one last story, I met up with my new Pastor, Sarah Zaske (Zay-Skee), for coffee and she was telling me about back in the day... I don't know how many years ago, every winter in Minnesota when the snow would thaw they would always recover dead farmers. The farmers would walk 20 feet or so from their house to the barn during a blizzard and when they were headed back to their door, they would never make it because they couldn't see. In fact, they would find their bodies just a few feet from their front doors! How sad is that? So, then someone had a great idea that in the winter to tie a rope from the front door of their house to the door of the barn. They would walk holding the rope because they knew it would lead back to their front door. Even though they could not see around them, they knew if they held onto the rope, they were guaranteed to make it home. Sometimes, that's really where we are in life. We don't know where we are going but we know that if we just trust God and hold onto Him, we will end up exactly where we belong.

I don't know where you are in your walk with God but if you are in a similar place as me, I want to offer you some advice. Hold onto the rope, cling to God, and trust that He will lead you to where you are supposed to be. Yeah, the analogy is great but am I being naive about the reality of it all? No, not it all. Like I said before, this journey is hard as hell. It's cold, it's lonely, you have no idea where you are going. You have no idea if you are about to trip over something you can't see, you have no idea how long you'll be "walking". You may also think "Why am I even out here? Can't you just lead me there already? I hate this." Yeah, I've said that often as well. In fact, I think I just said that yesterday hence the whole "yeah, I know I can adapt to the ocean but I want to be back in the forest" analogy. However, God promises that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28)."

In this journey, I've had to cling to truth otherwise I would just be a bitter, angry, sad, confused woman. Don't get me wrong that woman comes out sometimes. But what I've noticed on this journey of clinging to God, I feel joy despite my sadness, I feel confident despite the uncertainty, and I feel hope despite the loss.

Below, I have shared some (a lot actually) scriptures and quotes that I carry around with me daily. Seriously, I carry this journal with me EVERY WHERE I GO. I have also made a habit to only write positive truths in there. No hurt feelings. No sadness. Just truth. I speak life over my situation in there. I speak life over my body, over my relationships, over my future, over people, etc. By doing so, I know this will get me closer to the person I want to be. I am not even close to the end yet but man, despite it all, I know that if I just be still and hold on, God will lead me to exactly where I am supposed to be.

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"God can take what is broken and restore it into something amazing, all you need is faith." Joel 2:25

"Don't let what you see make you forget what God said." - unknown

"Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:6

"And so it was... that she, having waited long and endured patiently realized and obtained what God had promised her." Hebrews 6:!5

"Wait on me; be strong and take heart and wait on me. " Psalms 27:14

"Nothing can stop God's plan for your life." Isaiah 14:27

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well." James 5:15

"What if everything you are going through is preparing you for everything you asked for?" - unknown

"When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen." Isaiah 60:22

"Walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Trust and wait for what is still unseen." Romans 8:24

"Don't dig up in doubt, what you planted in Faith." - unknown

"God's promises do not depend upon my feelings; they rest upon His integrity." -R.C. Sproul

"Blessed is she who believed that God would fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45

"Don't be so in a rush to get to another stage of life that you miss the purpose of what God wants you to learn about yourself here and now." - Brittany Moses

"God cannot heal what you will not allow Him to touch." - unknown

"Everything worth having is uphill." - John Maxwell

"How you approach the hill, is how you approach life." -unknown

"There's no shadow you won't light up, mountain you won't climb up coming after me, there's no wall you won't kick down, lie you won't tear down coming after me. Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God, oh it chases me down, fights til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine." -Cory Asbury (Reckless Love)

"If I want His promises, I have to trust His process." -Lysa Terkeurst

"This is just a chapter, not the whole story." - unknown

"God doesn't expect us to handle this, he wants us to hand it over to Him." -Lysa Terkeurst

"I don't beg, force or chase. I pray, work and have faith." - unknown

"For there is nothing God cannot do." Luke 1:37

"God never uses anyone greatly until He tests them deeply." A.W. Tozer

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#justholdon #clingtoGod #trials #bestill